


Commencing In-Flirtation Mission

by Caspian_Faurus



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Comedy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 16:33:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15822729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caspian_Faurus/pseuds/Caspian_Faurus
Summary: Time's almost out for Snake. And the aged hero is determined to make one last ditch effort to make sure his best friend doesn't fall alone when that happens.Call it a lesson on"the game", or the day Otacon is finally dragged out of his socially awkward shell.Of course, there is much resistance from the genius scientist.There is a lot he fears, for one. Is he cursed? Is he just going to be permanently terrible at picking up girls? What would happen if things went wrong?But beyond that, lies a deeper, more pressing reason.Can this night still end happily?





	1. The Briefing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stay sharp, don't slouch, no fidgeting, and full focus!
> 
> Snake prepares his extremely reluctant best friend for the night ahead; a friend who'd rather chain himself to his desk and computer screen than venture out on a "prowl".  
> But Snake dedicates himself to every mission he takes up. And tonight - no matter what - Otacon was going to learn the ways of the game.
> 
> What better place to visit than a beach bar?

### The Briefing

While the evening was the right kind of clear, and the happy atmosphere of the San Diego beach would relax the most wound-up of men, it still wasn't enough for Hal to breathe easily, knowing what lay ahead.

"Yeowww!" he yelped, as David slapped his back to get him going.  
"Don't waste your energy on jittering," his best friend grumbled. "You're going to need it."  
"Fiiine, Dave..." Hal mumbled back.  
He adjusted the collar of his light blue shirt nervously, then took a deep breath. Then... he ran to the hotel room's washroom. 

David groaned. "He'll never learn..."

Today was a big day for both men. David, an aged- ahem, experienced man, was going to teach his middle-aged- AHEM, youthful long-time companion how not to be socially awkward. Especially around women.  
The former had tried on several occasions before, but Otacon had always made the excuse of work. Now, not only had they both practically retired, but they both realized that... time was running short for David, who was determined to ensure Hal had as close a friend as him before he passed on.  


A beach bar in San Diego was a perfect setting.

Sunny was staying over at Rosemary and Jack's, another party who'd joined them on their trip around California. Even more perfect.

Hal seemed to be taking his time in the washroom.  
David crossly strode over and almost broke the door handle. "Get out of there, or I'll bring you out myse- ah..." it seemed his threat had worked, because the sound of a bolt being undone could be heard from the other side.  
"I'm coming..." the person inside muttered.

**\----------**

"First rule: you have to be very cool, subtle, almost invisible in your approach," David explained to Hal, as they walked to the nearby bar, along the beach.  
The latter was definitely taking mental notes; Dave even saw his hand twitch, as if reaching for a pen.  
"But if I'm invisible, how will she notice me?"  
"I don't mean literally invisible, baka... not like you're switching on OctoCamo. Be there, but not be there."  
"I don't underst-"  
"Of course you don't," Dave sighed.  
This was not going to be easy at all.

"Look, you have to be near her, but not next to her. Make actions that make her notice you, not stare."  
"What kind of actions would those be, precisely?"  
"You know... be in her line of view, look cool, sit calmly without fidgeting..."  
Dave glared at Hal at the last statement. "Very important."

The "pupil" was visibly shaken at that death stare.

"I-I can't be someone who I'm not very easily, Dave..."  
"I'm not asking you. I am ordering that." 

The old man paused, wrapped his worn coat tightly around his body and chuckled. "Kidding. I'm just telling you to cool those nerves. A woman likes a man with confidence. Even the feisty ones who like to toy with you. Otherwise, they get bored."  
"Understood, I'll try..." Hal was far from understanding, in actuality.  
Not that Dave couldn't tell. He knew his friend too well.

The mission location was only a few steps away now. But just before they stepped in, Dave said a few words that puzzled Hal.  
"Every man for himself."

**\----------**


	2. At Ground Zero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Destination reached. Time to get to business.
> 
> Otacon very clearly wants to simply slink under a table and hide.  
> But nope - Snake will have none of that.
> 
> After being given a quick, suave demonstration, Otacon is forced to pick a "target" (goodness, lingo sure gets precarious when playing "the game").
> 
> Sights are set. Let's make this ship sail (hopefully).

### At Ground Zero 

The inside of the bar was warm, and cozily lit. It was quite full, but not crowded.  
Immediately, Dave began scouting for a suitable target.  
"Calm down, you're making it too obvious!" Hal frantically hissed, already embarrassed. "Women don't mind if I stare at them, Hal," the legendary ladies' man was grinning his ears off as his eyes roved.  
He was in his habitat. His companion totally wasn't.

All of a sudden, the teacher strode towards the bar stools. Hal followed with unsure steps.  
Only one was empty, though, and the people seated on the rest were all men.

"Let me demonstrate..." Dave whispered, and nodded at the bartender: a short brunette very clearly only in her mid-twenties. She was busy with the cash register some distance away.  
Hal whacked his friend's back. "With her??? She looks so young!" keeping his voice down with difficulty.  
"Age is just a numbe- I'm joking, Hal... it's just a demo. Like those tutorials you used to be so fond of giving me."

Hal only sighed in reply to that.

Dave tapped a long finger on the counter, and looked in front of him at the tall rack of shiny alcohol bottles. Hal cowered behind him, determined not to be involved.  
The woman looked at him, and immediately slammed the register shut, almost too hard. She practically ran over.

"What would you like tonight, s-sir?" She had a coy grin. "You." The hero past his 70s spoke with confidence and his worn voice, and winked.  
The woman nearly swooned and collapsed.  
David nodded at her. "I prefer my drinks on the rocks. No additives. The experience of... purity." He got a squeaky affirmative response.

He turned around and nodded at Hal next, who was watching in both cringe and awe. "Unbelievable..." he shakily whispered. "I hope you're... satisfied," the victorious man cheekily replied.

"Now, to business."  
"Wait- no! I don't think I can!!"  
But Dave wasn't listening. He got up, and practically dragged a wriggly Hal by the arm towards the tables.

**\----------**

They were lucky to find a table for two, near the centre of the room. David tapped at Hal's knuckle. "Anyone you're interested in?"  
His "pupil" had steamy glasses, but he was nodding, to David's great relief. "Who is it?"

Hal subtly cocked his head towards a person sitting two tables to the left, all alone.  
Dave gasped. "As expected..."

It was clear that she was quite tall and slim. Her hair was raven in shade, long and straight. Her features...  
She almost looked like Naomi Hunter.

"Now what, Dave??" Hal nervously whispered.  
His friend was internally quite annoyed, but he decided to cooperate. "Approach with caution. She looks stern... like she'd smack your face if you so much as touched he- kidding..."

David couldn't help but smirk at how jittery Hal was getting.  
"I think we might have to move in a little closer." he continued.

They looked at the table in between them.  
A young couple who were clearly on a date. Dave couldn't help but look down; yep, the woman was tracing her foot up the man's calf. The plates and glasses on their table were empty. 

"They're going to leave soon," Dave commented.

And, sure enough, after five minutes of staring into each others' eyes, they decided to get up.  
Both our heroes sighed with relief, and shifted to the new table. The woman was now just next to them now.  
She didn't look up; seemed quite absorbed in her thoughts.

**\----------**


	3. The Hitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's too close. The margin of error is too great.  
> Otacon knows he must pull out now.
> 
> But in his great panic to end the very possibly disastrous night, he end up spilling out his true feelings.  
> Why does he want no one? Why the spot Snake's death will vacate won't ever be refilled?
> 
> The hardened hero is lost for words.

### The Hitch

David cleared his throat loudly, but the woman didn't even twitch from her zone.  
Either she hadn't heard him over the bustle of the bar, or she was too lost.  
Or possibly... she was ignoring them. 

This really wasn't going to be easy. It was a stalemate at the moment.

Hal was looking at his wingman in complete despair. While of course he had a crush already developing for the pensive lady, he felt like he'd heaped David with too difficult a task.  
What if she wasn't interested at all? What if she found the two men creepy?  
What if she were married????

Hal had to do something to end this prematurely. Saving face was priority for him.  
He kicked Dave's knee violently under the table.

"Ow... Hal...?!!" the victim grunted in immense pain - for a geek terrible at combat, Otacon sure had some sharp kicks.  
He bent down to clutch the wounded area, looking very crossly at Hal; a man very clearly getting his nerves get the better of him, evident from his bowed, crimson face.

"You're not a damn twelve year old... trying to gather courage... to ask a cheerleader out!!"  
"I can't, Dave... WE can't! We don't even know the woman!! What if... what if...!!"  
"You and your darned 'what if's! If only you'd had a 'what if' moment when you creat-"  
David stopped himself from making a reference to a past event. That really wouldn't help at the moment.

"Why don't you think about a positive 'what if' for a change?"  
"Well, why don't you think about a negative one, you foolhardy warrior??"

The exchange between the two men was getting more and more heated, their voices rising from grumbles to near-shouts. The people close by were starting to glance at them.

So was 'the' woman, but they didn't know that.

**\----------**

"I'm going to die in less than a year, Hal! I'm not going to have you wallow in loneliness, especially at your age!"  
"I'll find someone eventually, besides I'll have Sunny! Why are you worrying so much??!!!"  
"You think I won't worry? You have no idea how uncontrollably sad I feel when I see your state! Absolutely unable to talk to a woman at the age of 34!"  
"No need to give me the pity party! I'm all good!!"  
"Clearly not."

Dave sat back finally and mumbled, crossing his arms defiantly. Hal did the same.

The entire gathering inside was silent, listening in to this barmy. But our two heroes were too blind to notice their surroundings.

There was quite a pause before either spoke.

"I don't know why you force me into this so often, Dave," Otacon finally mumbled, calming down a little. "I just... can't do this, okay? I'm not you. I'm not Solid Snake. I'm... Hal Emmerich. An eternal loser."  
He leaned forward to look into David's sulky eyes. They looked to the side and didn't meet his. Hal continued anyways.

"I'll be all right, trust me. I don't need anyone but you, Dave. No matter how much I'll try to look for someone to fill that void, I won't find a person who could fully replace you. In fact, no one would come remotely close. And since I... can't have you... I will have to try and accept that. All this... is futile. Having someone else, and having no one, is the same thing to me."

Sure enough, both had tears in their eyes that they wished to hide.  
A few people in the bar were also sniffling.

Dave silently got up and turned away, walking towards the door, hands nonchalantly in his pockets.  
He never replied. Not even meeting his friend's gaze.

Hal kept sitting there, letting a few tears escape. He bowed his head once more, looking down at his feet under the table.

**\----------**


	4. No Turning Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it over?  
> It seems not.
> 
> Maybe you were panicking unnecessarily, Hal.  
> It's not too late. Just don't surrender now.
> 
> Snake... has he discovered one, sole regret he has from life?  
> Sometimes the weight of his iron heart is a little too unbearable.

### No Turning Back

"E-Excuse me..."  
A female voice from his left whispered. Hal didn't look up, simply nodding slightly in acknowledgement.

"I couldn't help but... overhear."  
The speaker still got no reply.

"I think... I can relate to what you're going through. Quite well."  
Silence.

This time, the woman got up and tentatively sat in the chair David had been sitting on. There was clear hesitation as she did that.

She put forward a hand across the table towards Hal, for him to shake.  
He finally looked up at her, face a little teary.

"Natasha. Pleasure to meet you..."  
"Hal."  
He slowly raised his hand and shook hers. His grip was a little limp, but he made sure it wasn't too much so this time around. Natasha smiled at him, and relaxed.

Hal wasn't going to fail his friend for life. Enough of being selfish.

Bravely, he returned the reassuring smile his new friend was giving him, and also relaxed.

**\----------**

After leaving the bar, David had walked to the edge of the beach, looking beyond the sea at the horizon and feeling the wind in his white hair.  
His battered body was trembling, his blue-grey eyes watery. Hands kept gripping the inside of his pockets.  
Thanks to the clear sky, the moonshine was powerful. It shone on him like a spotlight.

All that was on his mind was his best friend.

"Hal..." his cracked, shaky voice whispered. His eyes went up to stare at the moon, then back at the sea.

It was times like these he reconsidered letting his friend get this close to his stone heart.

He kicked a rock into the vast body of water. It flew high and far away, and at that moment made a decision.  
He had to go back, knowing how distraught Hal must be.

David wasn't going to fail his friend for life. Enough of being selfish.

He walked back towards the bar, his pace slow and gradual. Once he reached, he peeped inside through the large windows, at the table they had been sitting on before.

A slight smile spread across his wrinkled face.

"Mission, successful..." he mumbled, and walked off once more.

**\----------**

**\-- Finis --**


End file.
